2014년 11월 30일 일요일

Final Draft

Civic Participation in Criminal Trials should exist.



Everyday lots of disputes occur around us and sometimes they leads to the trial. As we know, there are two types of the trials. Most conflicts were solved through a civil trial, and people who commit a crime are sentenced to some years in a criminal trials. Accepting judges' judgments was taken for granted since people do not exactingly know about the criteria of appropriate punishment for the crime. However, people always had a dissatisfaction to their punishment and wanted to participate in the process of the judgment especially in the criminal trials. Because they thought they had a right to participate since they are the nation living under the law that is used to judge, and their lives are influenced by that law. Therefore, Korean government created a system, Civic Participation in Criminal Trials. It makes people achieve their wish to communicate with the jurisdiction and it works well as the stepping stone of the national participation. Also, by doing this, nation can get more acceptable judgments. With these merits, Civic Participation in Criminal Trials should exist.




When the nation who do not have legal knowledge is due to participate in criminal trials, a jury seems just a gorgeous and easy role. However, they will have a huge responsibility to verdict correctly in the terms of the public. The most important part of the jurors' role is to check whether the decision excepting the public's opinions exists ,and make those opinions to be included in the judgment. According to the Solomon J.M., jurors are needed because they draw a common sense and a collective wisdom which represent the public's opinion into the verdict. Then, the jurors see the incident and the evidence in different aspects from the jurists. Let's take an example. If my attorney cannot understand the motivation of my behavior, my innocence will not be introduced and I will be punished inappropriately. In that case, if there are the jurors who can empathize with my feelings, they will verdict considering my opinions. Then, my satisfaction of the jurisdiction will be increased. It cannot be done if there are no jurors who have other aspects of seeing incident from the lawyers.

Civic participation should be implemented actively in Korea. As the essay (I referred before) said, civic participation in jurisdiction means exerting national opinion in the process of the judgment. Before this system was implemented, nations should get punished according to the judgment rendered by a judge and the law. It occured many problems. Let's think about the situation that a man is caught because of a murder committed for the personal reason. Although he has a reason for his behavior, it cannot be accepted in the aspects of the law. Because the law and the judges tend to regard the results of the case as more important than the motivation they did so. Also, if the defendants want to reveal his or her innocence, they should adduce the exact evidence. It is hard when their motivation is related to the emotional factors. As the emotional factors are subjective, it is not accepted as the decisive evidence to the jurists. Therefore, most defendants are easy to be frustrated. However, if there were the jurors, his emotional motivation would be useful since the jurors can accept those evidences and consider them when they give a verdict. Unlike the jurists, the jurors  are slightly free from the rule of the law in the process of the trial because they are not specialist in the law. They are just representatives of the public. Therefore, the jurors can understand the defendant's opinion emotionally and agree with their opinion freely. It may help the decrease of falsely charged person.

Also people's satisfaction toward the judgment will be increased because it contains more thoughts of the public by mirroring the jurors' opinion which represents the public's opinion. Then, it can also solve the problem that nations are indifferent to jurisdiction. As we are under the law that is used to judge, we should pay attention to the judgment. However, many people do not show concern because they think the trial and the judgment is far from them. Therefore It is important to implement Civic Participation in Criminal Trials which increases the national participation. It will be helpful to make people to have an interest in the jurisdiction of the Korea. Although some opponents say civic participation in criminal trials leads to many problems and it is not fit for the judgment, civic participation in criminal trials should exist to get acceptable results, to reflect nation's opinions to jurisdiction and to make people participate in jurisdiction.



Nations participating in criminal trials have more responsibility toward the incident than the attorney. As Professor Solomon writes,
lawyers tend to pay more attention to the monetary aspects of the litigation than answers for the wrongs. On the other hands, jurors are paid a fixed amount of money. Therefore, in the situation when the jurors and the lawyers have to participate in trials which is not economical to the lawyers,  jurors will try to verdict more seriously than the lawyers. Trial is the most important process of solving the problem, and it should be progressed seriously. However, when the jury did not participate in the trials, the judgments were given with the lawyers who negligent at proving wrongs, and the judges who sentence a punishment by just taking account of those lawyers' opinion. Now, jurors are blocking these bad results by asserting their opinion toward the judicature. It is same as closing the judicature's scamper which is ignoring the innocence of the defendants and the opinion of the public. The jurors are paying more attention to the defendants' innocent and preventing inappropriate punishment. It can be done because of the existence of the jury.

To communicate with the public, Korean government implemented civic participation in criminal trials system. Therefore, we can see an importance of the jury who represents the public. It leads to increase of the nation's satisfaction toward the judgment. Also the jurors can sentence a verdict asides from principle of evidential justice. Many people suffer from the principle of evidential justice because less exact evidences cannot be accepted in the aspects of the law. So, the innocent person who only has emotional evidences will be punished inappropriately. However, jury is far from these institutions, so they can verdict based on emotional factors (if the evidence the defendant presented is all the emotional evidences). It leads to more flexible judgment.

Although the opponents of the jury system doubt the jurors' importance and the qualification of them, jurors are playing important role in trials as the connecting link between nations and the judicature by asserting the opinion of the public. It leads to the increase of nation's participation in jurisdiction and satisfaction for the judgment. Also, they work with lots of responsibility to find out innocent person which is better than the lawyers' who value the monetary aspects of the litigation.




As the system, Civic participation in criminal trials, was implemented recently, many people are against the system because of the certainty of the benefit of implementing it. The opponents say they cannot believe the jurors because they are easily misled by barristers' techniques to strengthen their evidence with little information about the law. Also, according to Randle and Pottle's writing, jury are helping a spy to escape from prison. It can be inferred that the opponents doubt the jury's ability to reach a verdict. They can have no faith in the justice of the jury since they are selected randomly. However, It is important why the jury are needed in criminal trials. As the jurors are comprised of randomly selected people, they have different jobs each other. It means the jurors have more various knowledge than the judges, and they can understand a wide scope of cases. Actually, It is the huge problem that the judges who only studied about liberal arts subjects cannot understand the dispute occurs based on natural sciences. Therefore, the jury's work knowledge will be helpful to judge. If they get the defendants' point and judge properly, it will lead to appropriate punishment by preventing the judges from misunderstanding. These jury's verdicts came from their standards of judging. They are comprised of the people who over 20 years old. According to Korean law, they are considered as the people who already have an ability to do decision making based on their criteria. Therefore, we can accept their verdict since it arises from the jury's standard of judging the defendants' guilt. Although barristers confuse the jury with various techniques, the jury has the ability to distinguish them. So it is no matter worrying that the jury will be blinded.

The opponents also believe that the jury's verdict helps spy to escape from prison. It is not true because the final judgment consists of the jury's verdict and the judge's judgment. The motive of Civic participation in criminal trials comes from America's jury system. However, it was implemented differently from the United States. Therefore, the judge does not have to consider the jury's verdict unlike the citizens jury system. It means the jury just play a role as an adviser who understand the incident in different aspects and provide the opinion of the public. Although the opponents doubt the jury's suitability for participating in trials, the jury is necessary because they play an important role as the adviser by asserting the opinion of the public. Therefore, civic participation in criminal trials should exist.



People always had a complaint about some judgment and sought the judgment that coincides with their opinion. As time goes on, people felt more longing for maintaining their right by asserting their opinion to the jurisdiction. Because of this reason, the civic participation in criminal trials system was implemented. It is the best plan for compensating people's dissatisfaction of the judgment caused by communication gap between the public and the judicature. People went into feeling more satisfaction by counting their opinion through the jury and getting judgment which includes their opinion. Then, what if there is no system like this? Innocent person can get punished inappropriately since the judicature can misunderstand the situation. The nation will be  more indifferent to the jurisdiction although they are influenced by that. Rather than seeing Civic participation in criminal trials as the imprudent system, seeing it as a link between the public and the jurisdiction is better.



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Bibliography

Charlotte Osullivan. (2007, Feburary 7).  Evaluation the use of Juries within the British Legal System. [Web log comment]. Retrieved from
http://www.legalsource360.com

Hans, Valerie P, and Gastil, John and Feller. (2014). Deliberative Democracy and the American Civil Jury. [Abstract]. Journal of Empirical Legal Studies. (No. 2466411)

Lawteacher's student. Jury System Criminal. ProQuest Digital Dissertations.

Nicky Harley. (2014, June 29). On trial:how juries reach their verdicts . The Times. Retrieved from http://www.thesundaytimes.co.uk/

Solomon, J.M. (2012). The Political Puzzle of the Civil Jury. [Abstract]. Emory Law Journal (61), William & Mary Law School Research Paper No. 09-224.




2014년 11월 16일 일요일

Week 14 : Peer Evaluation 2

Evaluation for 20708 - http://20708hyojeong.blogspot.kr/

Grade
According to the rubric above, what grade would you give this essay? Why?
4점. 근거가 약한것 같다.

How does this essay need to improve to get a better grade?
문단구분이 애매하다. 읽기에는 편하지만 classical argument를 따르고 있는지 파악하기 힘들다

Thesis
What is the thesis?
The lie detector is not accurate to use in the court as the evidence.

Is the thesis clear and debatable?
Yes

If you (The reviewer) wrote this essay, how would you have written the thesis?
The lie detector is not an accurate method to confirm the truth.

Any other thoughts?
없다.

Classical Argument
Can you easily identify the 5 parts of the classical argument? If no, what parts are missing?
Yes

Does the introduction catch your attention? Does it comfortably lead to the thesis?
거짓말 탐지기에 대한 소개가 너무 많은것 같다. thesis와 연결되는 부분이 어색하다.  그래도 잘썼다.

Does the narration give all the necessary background information to understand the topic?
거짓말 탐지기에 대한 이해를 돕는 자료가 많이있다.

Does the confirmation adequately support the thesis?
주장별로 읽기 쉽게 나뉘어져 있는점이 좋다. 하지만 2번째와 3번째의 의견이 비슷해 보이는 경향이 있다. 조금 더 근거를 많이 사용하여 주장을 뒷받침하면 해결될것 같다.
Does the refutation and concession address a realistic counterpoint? Does it adequately dispute the counterpoint, or respond in a reasonable manner?
Yes

Does the conclusion summarize the article and address the larger significance of the thesis?
사례(?)를 사용하여 인상깊은 결말을  쓴것같다.

What suggestions do you have for improving the classical argument structure?
문단을 정확히 나누면 더 좋은 글이 될것같다.

Persuasion
When you started reading the essay, did you agree or disagree with the thesis?
I agreed.
When you finished the essay, did you agree or disagree with the thesis?
I still agreed

If your mind changed, why? What parts of the essay were persuasive?
3가지로 나눠진 반박부분이 제일 설득력있었다.
How could the author enhance the persuasive parts of their essay?


Research
Is the author using research effectively?
Yes

Is the research from appropriate sources?
Yes

Are the sources obvious?
그런것같다.

Are the pieces of evidence relevant to the thesis or essay?
key word인 거짓말 탐지기의 역할위주의 자료를 사용하였으므로 적절하다
Are there any parts of the essay that need evidence to support the claims?
주장을 뒷받침할( 거짓말 탐지기가 쓰이면 안되는 이유) 과학적인 근거가 더 있으면 좋을것같다.

Week 14 : Peer Evaluation 1

Evaluation for 20707     -  http://20707hanbyeoliii.blogspot.kr/

GradeAccording to the rubric above, what grade would you give this essay? Why?5점. 서론부분을 특히 잘 썼고 충분한 자료조사에 입각해서 쓴 것같아서 근거가 탄탄하다.

How does this essay need to improve to get a better grade?

지금도 충분히 잘 썼지만 더 좋은 글이 되려면  you 또는 we  라는 주어를 사용하지 않아야 한다.

Thesis
What is the thesis?

We should not experiment on animal.

Is the thesis clear and debatable?

Yes. 


If you (The reviewer) wrote this essay, how would you have written the thesis?

우리는 제품을 만들 때 동물실험을 하면 안된다.


Any other thoughts?

없다


Classical Argument
Can you easily identify the 5 parts of the classical argument? If no, what parts are missing?
알아보기 쉽게 5파트로 나뉘어 있다.


Does the introduction catch your attention? Does it comfortably lead to the thesis?
매우매우 인상깊었다. 자연스럽게 thesis로 유도했다. introduction부분이 제일 좋다고 할 수 있을만큼.


Does the narration give all the necessary background information to understand the topic?
그렇다. 동물실험과 관련된 배경지식을 많이 적어두었다.


Does the confirmation adequately support the thesis?
동물실험을 했을때의 부정적인 면에 비해  동물실험이 아닌 실험을 했을때 어떤점이 좋은지 조금밖에 나와있지 않다.


Does the refutation and concession address a realistic counterpoint? Does it adequately dispute the counterpoint, or respond in a reasonable manner?
잘 반박하고 있다 하지만 동물실험에 대해 반박하면서 다른 '구체적인' 방법이 제시되었으면 더 좋았을것같다.

Does the conclusion summarize the article and address the larger significance of the thesis?
Yes

What suggestions do you have for improving the classical argument structure?
지금도 충분히 형식에 맞게 썼다.
PersuasionWhen you started reading the essay, did you agree or disagree with the thesis?
I agreed


When you finished the essay, did you agree or disagree with the thesis?
I agreed

If your mind changed, why? What parts of the essay were persuasive?

안바뀜


How could the author enhance the persuasive parts of their essay?
 ResearchIs the author using research effectively?
Yes

Is the research from appropriate sources?

Yes


Are the sources obvious?
Yes

Are the pieces of evidence relevant to the thesis or essay?

Yes!!!!!!

Are there any parts of the essay that need evidence to support the claims?

많은 자료를 사용하여 주장을 뒷받침하고 있기 때문에 이미 충분하다.

Research 5

Source:The Political Puzzle of the Civil Jury.
http://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=2144376

My Topic:
Civic Participation in Criminal Trials should exist.

What I hope to learn from this source:
I need the strong sources to explain why the jurors are necessary.

Notes:

"perhaps lawyers value the monetary aspects of the litigation to the exclusion of the value of demanding accountability and answers for wrongs"

"It might also be that the black box of the jury is a virtue for legitimacy purposes.
 Because jurors’ identities are not known to the broader public, they can make difficult decisions and avoid taking the heat."

"Juries don't give reasons for their decisions, so their claim to be deliberative-democratic institutions is on shaky ground "

((I didn't paraphrase it since it will be quoted.))

Final Thoughts:
I found what I really wanted! 

I will use the first one to explain why the jurors are necessary in the trials (if there are no jury, the judgment will be influenced by financial cost. The jurors can prevent that because they are free from that) Second one is also good to support my opinion that the jurors can see the cases in different aspects from the judges. This can be used to say what will happen if there is no jury. I think my essay will be strong because of this resource.

Research 4

Source:Jury System Criminal
http://www.lawteacher.net/criminal-law/essays/jury-system-criminal.php

My Topic:
Civic Participation in Criminal Trials should exist.

What I hope to learn from this source:
I need some trial cases related to the jurors.   

Notes:
  1. do not understand the evidence, verdict based on inappropriate criteria or methods. -  the Court of Appeal quashed a conviction (Young [1995] QB 324.)
  2.  are protected from pressure and outside influences when deciding a verdict. They can decide based on their own ideas of justice, contrary to the legal advice. - (in the case of R v Ponting [1985] Crim LR 318),  on the grounds of public interest. Defendant was charged under the Official Secret Act 1920. The Jury refused to convict despite no legal defence.
  3. the Jury can reach perverse decisions, which are not justified. ( Randle and Pottle [1991] Alliott J), helping a famous spy, to escape from prison. 
  4. ( Lord Woolf C J), ``a fair-minded and informed observer would not conclude that there was a real possibility that a Juror was biased merely because his occupation was one which meant that he was involved in some capacity or other in the administration of Justice''.

Final Thoughts:
The second one is perfectly what I needed. Through using that sources I can support my opinion that we can believe the jurors verdict because it is based on their criteria. Also I can use that to support that the only can juror verdict outside influences of the justice so it can contain the public's opinion (it is also what they have to do) Others can also be used to say opponents' opinion. Especially the third one is strong.
I think I have find a source to support why the jury is necessary in the trial. What if there are no jurors in the trials?







2014년 11월 9일 일요일

Second Draft

Civic Participation in Criminal Trials should exist.


Everyday lots of disputes occur around us and sometimes they leads to the trial. As we know, there are two types of the trials. Most conflicts were solved through a civil trial and people who commit a crime are sentenced to some years in a criminal trials. Accepting judges' judgments was taken for granted since people do not exactingly know about the criteria of appropriate punishment for the crime. However, people always had a dissatisfaction to their punishment and wanted to participate in the process of the judgement especially in the criminal trials. Because they thought they had a right to participate as they are the nation under the law that is used to judge, and they are influenced by that law. Therefore, Korean government created a system, Civic Participation in Criminal Trials. It makes people achieve their wish to communicate with the jurisdiction and works well as the stepping stone of the national participation. Also, by doing that, nations can get more acceptable judgments. With these merits, Civic Participation in Criminal Trials should exist.


Participating in criminal trials seems gorgeous and easy. However, they have a huge responsibility to verdict correctly in the terms of the public. The most important part of the jury' role is to check the decision excepting the public's opinions and make those opinions to be included in the judgment. According to the Solomon J.M., jurors are important because they bring a common sense and a collective wisdom when they judge. It makes the jurors see the incident in different aspects from the jurists and empathize the docks. Let's take an example. If my attorney cannot understand me, I cannot exert my opinion about my false behavior exactly and I will get inappropriate punishment. In that case, if there is the jurors who can understand my feelings, they will work for me and they will judge considering my opinions. Then, my satisfaction of jurisdiction will be increased. It could not be done if there were not jury who have other aspects of seeing incident from judges.

People already know that civic participation in jurisdiction is faint. It should be changed. As the essay (I referred before) said, civic participation in jurisdiction means exerting national opinion in the process of judgement. Before this system was implemented, nations should get punished according to the judgement rendered by a judge and the law. It occurs many problems. Let's think about the situation that a man is caught because of a murder committed because of the personal reason. Although he has a reason for his behavior, it cannot be accepted in the aspects of law. Since the law and the judges tend to consider results more importantly than the motivation they did so. Also if the dock wants to reveal his or her innocent, they should adduce the exact evidence. It is hard because most of their motivation is related to the emotional factors. Therefore, most of them are easy to be frustrated. However, if there were jurors in this situation, they could understand the dock's motivation. Since the jury does not have to follow the rule of the law by just considering the exact evidence and ignoring their emotional motivation, they can understand the dock's opinion emotionally and agree with their opinion freely. It may help the decrease of falsely charged person. Also people's satisfaction of jurisdiction will be increased because it will more contain the thoughts of the public through mirroring jury's opinion which represents the public's opinion. Therefore, we can say that civic participation in criminal trials connects nations and jurisdictions or judgments.

Then, it can solve the problem that nations are indifferent to jurisdiction. As we are under the law that is used to judge, we should pay attention to the judgement. However, many people do not concern about that because they think trial and judgement is far from them. Or some people were irritated with the system that nations cannot participate in trials. They say the government should increase the degree of attention people pay for our jurisdiction through implementing civic participation in criminal trials, and it will lead to the development of Korean Jurisdiction.

Although some people say civic participation in criminal trials leads to many problems and it is not fit for judgement, civic participation in criminal trials should exist to get acceptable results, to reflect more nations' opinions to jurisdiction and to make people participate in jurisdiction.


To communicate with the public, Korean government implemented civic participation in criminal trials system. Therefore, we can see an important role of jury that represent the public. It leads to increase of the nations' satisfaction toward the judgement. Also jury can sentence a verdict asides from principle of evidential justice. Many people suffer from the principle of evidential justice since less exact evidences cannot be accepted in the aspects of the law. So, the person who is innocent but only has emotional evidence will be punished inappropriately. However, jury is far from these institutions so they can verdict based on emotional factors (if the evidence the dock presented is all the emotional evidences). It leads to more flexible judgement.

Nations participating in criminal trials have more responsibility toward the incident than the attorney. As Professor Solomon writes,


lawyers tend to pay more attention to the monetary aspects of the litigation than answers for wrongs. On the other hands, jury are paid a fixed amount of money. Therefore, in the same situation that they should participate in trials, jurors will do more seriously than the lawyers. Trial is the most important process of solving the problem so it should be progressed seriously. However, when the jury did not participate in the trials, the judgments were given with the lawyers who negligent at proving wrongs and the judges who sentence a punishment by just taking account of those lawyers' opinion. Now, jurors are blocking these bad results by asserting their opinion toward the judicature. It is same as closing the judicature's scamper which is ignoring the innocent and the opinion of the public, and paying more attention to the docks' innocent, preventing inappropriate punishment. It can be done because of the existence of the jury.

Although some people doubt the jury' importance and the qualification of them, jury are playing important role in trials as the connecting link between nations and the judicature by asserting the opinion of the public. It leads to the increase of nations' participation in jurisdiction and satisfaction for the judgement. Also, they work with lots of responsibility to find out innocent person.


As the system, Civic participation in criminal trials, was implemented recently, many people are against the system because of the certainty of benefit of implementing it. The opponents say they cannot believe the jury because they are easily misled by barristers' techniques to strengthen their evidence and they have little information of the law. Also, according to Randle and Pottle's writing, jury are helping a spy to escape from prison. It can be inferred that the opponents doubt the jury's ability to reach a verdict. They can have no faith in justice of the jury as they are selected randomly. However, It is important reason the jury are needed in criminal trials. As the jury is comprised of randomly selected people, they have different jobs each other. It means the jury have more various knowledge than the judges, and they can understand a wide scope of cases. Actually, It became the problem that the judges who only studied about liberal arts subjects cannot understand the dispute occur based on natural sciences. Therefore, the jury's work knowledge will be helpful to judge. If they get the docks' point and judge properly, it will lead to appropriate punishment, preventing the judges from misunderstanding. These jury's verdicts came from their standards to judge. They are comprised of the people who over 20 years old. According to Korean law, they are considered as the people who already have an ability to do decision making based on their criteria. Therefore, we can believe their verdict since it arise from the jury's standard to judge the docks' guilt. Although barristers confuse the jury with various techniques, the jury has the ability to distinguish them. So it is no matter worrying that the jury will be blinded.

The opponents also believe that the jury's verdict helps spy to escape from prison. It is not true because the final judgment is consisted of the jury's verdict and the judge's judgment. The motive of Civic participation in criminal trials comes from America's jury system. However, it was implemented differently from the United States. Therefore, the judge does not have to consider the jury's verdict unlike the citizens jury system. It means the jury just play a role as the an adviser who understand the incident in different aspects and provide the opinion of the public, and we can't hold their responsible. Although some people doubt the jury's suitability for participating in trials, the jury is necessary because they play an important role as the adviser by asserting the opinion of the public. Therefore, civic participation in criminal trials should exist.


 
People always had a complaint about some judgment and seek the judgment that coincide with their opinion. As time goes on, people felt more longing, maintaining their right to asserting their opinion to the jurisdiction. Because of this reason, the civic participation in criminal trials system was implemented. It is the best plan for compensating people's dissatisfaction of the judgment caused by communication gap between the public and the judicature. People went into feeling more satisfaction by counting their opinion through the jury. Then, what if there is no system like this? Innocent person can get punished inappropriately since the judicature can misunderstand the situation. Therefore, the public and the jurisdiction can be connected by this system. Rather than seeing Civic participation in criminal trials as the imprudent system, seeing it as a link between the public and the jurisdiction is better.



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Bibliography
1. http://www.lawteacher.net/criminal-law/essays/jury-system-criminal.php
2. http://www.persuasivelitigator.com/2012/12/consider-the-jurys-political-role.html
3. http://www.persuasivelitigator.com/2014/07/emphasize-the-civic-role-of-your-civil-trial.html
4. http://www.legalsource360.com/index.php/evaluating-the-use-of-juries-within-the-british-legal-system-3-7598/

2014년 11월 2일 일요일

Week 12 : Feedback

Week 12 Objectives
1. Read the grading update about plagiarism.

2. Check your first draft grade (If it's ready) and feedback from me and Agnes T. We will finish grading your first drafts by Friday. Check these lists for your grades.
Sam Teacher's classes
Agnes Teacher's classes

3. Check out your Grammarly reports. Kim Jinyoung T has been very kind and used a program called Grammarly to assess your first drafts. Please find your essay and look at the revisions. Remember, Grammarly is a robot, not a human, so it will make mistakes. If you think Grammarly is wrong, it probably is wrong.
Sam Teacher's Grammarly reports (Not yet available)
Agnes Teacher's Grammarly reports

4. Finish your self evaluation.

5. Read this post about common problems.

6. Read an example of an AWESOME first draft (The confirmation does not have enough research, but it's still a great start).

7. Start your second draft.

(Optional) We will do peer review after the second draft, but if you like, feel free to get input from peers now. It is always useful.

As I read your first drafts, I am noticing some common problems. Look at this list and see if these things apply to you.

1.
PLAGIARISM -
Some of you are plagiarising a little, some of you are plagiarizing A LOT. It doesn't matter if it is a lot or a little, it is a serious problem. Please start citing your sources appropriately. Your first draft is not penalized for plagiarism. In your second draft, if you plagiarize one point will be subtracted. If you plagiarize in your final draft, you will receive 0 points for the final draft.

Here are some resources to avoid plagiarism

What is plagiarism?
How to avoid plagiarism

2.
Follow the format of the classical argument. There are five parts. There is not a fixed number of paragraphs. Please review the blog posts about each part to make sure you are familiar with them and using them correctly.

3.
Thesis must be PERSUASIVE. A thesis like, "Crime is bad" is technically a thesis, but it's not a very good thesis because no one will argue with you, and it is not interesting. Everyone already agrees, or no one cares. A thesis like, "Crime is bad, but we must ensure the dignity of criminals while they are being punished," is interesting and debatable. Make sure your thesis is strong, or your whole essay will be weak.